Forty Percent of women in this country are primary breadwinners.
Women are getting married later and later or not at all, BUT are still responsible for paying their student loans, all of their bills, helping their parents…..
Fifty-six percent of women think discussing money is too personal.
Over Sixty percent of women would rather talk about health issues with their doctor than talk about money….
I could make this list all day….
When a man talks about money, he’s virile, strong, smart, progressive, innovative…..when a woman discusses money, and for that matter, getting her piece of it, she is seen as greedy, a gold digger, arrogant, over-confident, possibly even a bitch.
I’ve heard all of these words……and it’s always on a day that I woke up at 4 am, or a week that NONE of my proposals went through, or all I’m hearing is no’s and then there’s one woman or a few, who think you shouldn’t have one single day of success….
I digress….
About 6 years ago, before there was Women CEO Project, I was invited to a class, accidentally I believe, because I happen to be the only woman in the room. Not to be embarrassed, I stayed in the class, even though VERY uncomfortable, but pride happened to save me that day.
That day, I truly learned how men and women thought different about business, money, what controls their business actions and decisions.
These men discussed A/B testing ( split testing ) money, analytics, costs, profits, budgets, raising prices, millions, growth……
You get the drift.
It was a totally new experience for me and the impetus for developing my thoughts on how to focus on, look for and ask for the money I thought I deserved.
I started Women CEO Project about a year and a half later, and for many of you, you don’t know that in the OVER 80 classes we had in the first year…. I made sure each and every speaker I invited spoke about money. I don’t care if they were talking about social media, or marketing or whatever- the subject HAD to have a money angle.
I didn’t care about how good the talk made us feel, if we felt closer to each other, happier, sisterly… I wanted us to feel and be rich.
That talk isn’t for everyone. I’ve learned that over the years. That there are some folks who really, for whatever reason, needed to feel comfortable with a group of women, but they didn’t necessarily want to thrive.
That is where the sea divided for me.
I learned there are differences in our goals, but I wanted to make it clear which side of the fence Women CEO Project focused on.
I get flack for this sometimes. Women are looking to get friends and I’m talking about getting a check.
Not just Kristi’s words, but statistically, women DO NOT like to discuss money in business or corporate. And CEOs, this is EXACTLY why we statisitcally make MUCH less than men do.
You see, these men in the meeting didn’t care that the money conversation wasn’t comfortable for everyone, they knew that they had people to provide for and goals to reach, and even through discomfort- they had to enhance, correct, and perfect their own money conversations.
Yeah, this message is long, but needed.
It’s a horrible cycle and circle.
But, because women don’t like to discuss, ask for, or insist on their own money, they not only get paid less – they pay less, they beg more, they try to negotiate other women down to the peach meat, because they not only aren’t getting paid their worth, they also find it hard to put worth into another woman’s business.
To see women de-value other women….. it’s painful to all of us…. it MUST change. This MUST stop with us.
We MUST understand, to fix the cycle, we have start with ourselves.
Do This…
Learn what your product is. Make sure that it is of value- not just to you, but of value to offer someone else-meaning…. How does your product benefit your potential client?
Make sure you get a handle on this.
Then learn how to market yourself the BEST way possible, across multiple channels, and do it consistently.
Put in THE WORK. Don’t try to sell your audience info from 2010. They got it by now.
I learned it at this point. That’s why I’m ALWAYS giving away. The course you take me with- WILL be my latest, my newest, my BEST education. You must invest in learning your craft THEN marketing your knowledge to a level that folks KNOW that they are out of line asking you for free…. ( but they will still ask- expect it)
Don’t pick the coach or the product that is the cheapest. Think like this- if it’s the cheapest- are you happy with the smallest return? Pick the BEST product, course, coach or program that you can at the time and DO THE WORK.
Women will talk about their husbands, their sex lives, their childhood issues….. but won’t talk about money, won’t tell folks they are struggling, or they start feeling success and won’t tell others that it wasn’t always that way.
I’ve decided I will talk about money and business and profits until women start to get comfortable with the conversation.
Get comfortable with being clear and transparent. It’s no one’s business how much you make, but when you don’t want to even approach the conversation- it’s veiled in secretacy when it doesn’t need to be. Learn how to say:
- In my business, I must make a profit of xx and the price I charge allows me to do this.
- I understand you don’t put value in what I offer, but I do, and to work with me- we will have to see eye to eye on my price.
- Start paying prices. I’m known for not negotiating with women hard. If I even contact you- you obviously have value- so I will either pay you your worth or walk away and tell the TRUTH about why I’m walking away… because I can’t afford you at this time. I won’t walk away and try to make it look like your service is bad…. Don’t do this ladies, it gives gas to a perpetually awful cycle, insecurities, and keeping us ALL DOWN. If you can’t afford something at the time, say that. There is no shame in that. Then come back when you can pay the value.
And, for the friends and family script, get comfortable with saying….I love you as a friend, but I cannot give you my assets, my retirement, my children’s funds, my business savings, my vacation, my parent’s stipend or that bit I have tucked away so that I can stop striving and start thriving. No, I can’t give you a discount or give you something for free and sellout on ALL my other goals.
Lastly CEOs, I know, this was long, it was needed and pressing. I am seeing too much ” I chop- you chop” mentality in our sisterhood. We are to uphold, respect and grow each other- but not to the detriment of ourselves or by giving away all that we have for FREE. Let’s get comfortable with the money discussion, with seeing other women prospering and instead of speaking negativity- take her course, ask her how, find out where she is speaking, hire her as your coach, buy her book, pick up the knowledge she is dropping, but by ALL means, don’t shun her, abuse her, use her, or de-value her… She’s probably doing her best to be the best and trust me, if she’s truthful, and if you ask her, she will probably tell you, that she was in the same shoes you’re standing in, in not too distant a past…
Let’s grow.
With the Highest Expectations,
Kristi
PS. The 2 Week Online Mastermind and a deeper money discussion/lesson starts VERY Soon on June 18th You have about 1 week to join us { HERE }
Love this post!
This was an amazing post. I’d read it before but needed some motivation today and came here because this site always delivers! Thank you for your transparency! #greatness